Nostalgia

In times like these, I wish I were a child again playing seesaw pretending that I were someplace else and oblivious of everything except the world I presently inhabit.

Wouldn't it be nice to return to these days? These days when we don't have to worry about passing a subject, finishing a report, budgeting the allowance and so on. Wouldn't it be good if I would be a child again, safe and warm in my own world.

JAMES Syndrome

JAMES SYNDROME. Yung puro kalokohan pag kasama mo sila. From left to right: James de Jesus (YFC-FEU), Joyce Jetomo (YFC-PUP), James Tautjo (YFC-PUP)

I'm pretty contented with whatever connection we have.

In demand

“Sa pagsusulat Malaya kang ipahayag kung anong gusto mo, Malaya kang paglaruin ang imahinasyon mo, at higit sa lahat doon mo makikita ang tunay mong pagkatao. “

Isang tahimik na gabi. Kung tutuusin, nananahimik dapat sa aking kwarto at natutulog. Nilalasap ang araw ng mumunting bakasyon kuno. Pero sa tipo ng estudyante na tulad ko, hindi na yata uso ang salitang BAKASYON, LIWALIW (minsan) at PAHINGA (kapag nakanakaw ng tulog sa kama). Kung baga sa simcard, 24/7 ang serbisyo. Pero teka, bakit ko nga ba pilit sinisiksik ang sarili ko sa kahong halos hindi na ako makahinga sa sobrang sikip?

Sa totoo lang hindi ko din alam. Marahil sadyang CONTAMINATED na talaga ang dugo ko ng isang virus na hindi ko maiwasan, ang pagpasok sa mga kakaibang mundong bandang huli ay ako ang pumapasan. Kung pwede lang ang BLOOD TRANSFUSION matagal ko nang ginawa. Mahirap pero kadalasan naman masay. Ano nga bang nahihita ko sa mga bagay na ‘to? Simple lang. PAGOD, SAKIT NG ULO, PROBLEMA, PAGOD, SAKIT NG ULO, PROBLEMA, paikot-ikot lang ang siklo. Pero sa kabila ng byaheng ito, may mga magagandang tanawin naman akong nasisilayan, KAIBIGAN, PAGKILALA, PAGGALANG, at higit sa lahat BAGONG PAMILYA.



TAKE THE TURN

Lalong umiinit ang kapaligiran, maalinsangan. Sabay nito ay pilit kong tinitiktik ang aking isip sa pag-iisip ng mga bagay na maisulat para mabasa mo ngayon. Wala naman akong pinagsisisihan sa aking pinasok na mundo. Sabi nga, kahit gaano man kahirap, kung mahal mo ang ginagawa mo, ok lang, wala e, ganyan talaga. Iba na ang IN DEMAND!

Speaking of IN DEMAND, kate-text lang ng isa ko’ng kasamahan sa isang organisasyon. Naisip ko na panibagong pitas nanaman ng problema at intindihin, pero syempre, Masaya naman ako sa ginagawa ko lalo na kung para sa Kanya. Minsan nga nanaisin mo rin balikan ‘yung mga pagkakataong inihaharap sa iyo ‘yung mga bagay na minsan mong tinanguan at sabihin ang malaking “AYOKO!” ‘yun lang eh kung magagawa mo.

Kadalasan mas naiinggit pa ako sa mga estudyanteng masayang pumapasok ng eskwelahan na walang anumang iniintinding kung anu-ano mang bagay. Pagkatapos ng klase, sibat agad o kung may natitira pang oras ay nakukuha pang magsaya kasama ang barkada. Payak, simple, pero Masaya. Alam mo ‘yun? ‘yung kahit anong gawin mo walang problema. Hawak mo ang mundo mo. Walang ibang nagpapatakbo. Hindi ka nasisigawan tuwing may magagawa kang hindi nila gusto. Hindi ka kinakabahan tuwing maririnig mo ang pangalan mo’ng pinapatawag ng kung sino. Simple lang. walang halong kadramahan.

Sabi ng isang manunulat na nakilala ko, ANG TUNAY NA KULAY RAW NG MUNDO AY NAPAKA-PAYAK, SIMPLE LANG, ITIM AT PUTI. Ayon din sa kanya, kung papipiliin siya ng uri ng larawan, mas pipiliin niya ang black and white version. Mas maganda ayon sa kanya at mas may drama sa kabila ng katangian nito. Bigla akong nagulumihanan. Ito nga ba ang sapat na kulay ng buhay ng isang tao? Payak? Simple? Sa ganitong uri ban g pamumuhay mas malalasap ang tunay na ganda at esensya ng pagiging tao mo? Pero para saan na lang ang iba pang kulay na nakapaligid sayo?

Tanong. Napaka raming tanong.walang tumpak na kasagutan. Sadya nga bang dapat na lang tayo makuntento sa kung anong meron tayo? Marahil nga’t oo. Pero sa tingin ko bilang isang IN DEMAND na tao, HINDI. Napakarami kasing oportundidad sa paligid. Siguro kung patuloy tayong makukuntento sa isang payak na bagay, masasayang lamang ang lahat ng iyon.

Ito marahil ang problema ng marami sa atin ngayon, tapos nagtataka ang ilan kung bakit walang pag-unlad. Salamat, naliwanagan na ako ngayon. Siguro nga may positibo at negatibong dulot ang pagiging IN DEMAND ng isang tao. Parang sa trabaho, kapag in demand dinadagsa, pero darating ang panahon mawawala rin. Pero hindi ko sinasabing itulad natin ang ating mga sarili sa masaklap na kasidlakan ng aking halimbawa. Pilitin nating gawin ang lahat ng bagay. Ilagay ang puso sa lahat ng ating ginagawa. Kaakibat ng tagumpay ang pasakit at hirap kaya normal lang na paminsan-minsan ay makaranas tayo ng kaunting problema.

Sa totoo lang, kahit umiiyak tayo minsan dahil dito, kailangan pa rin natin ‘yun ipagpasalamat. Kasi kung wala yung mga problemang ‘yun, isang mahinang TAYO ang magiging produkto, depektibo.

Ang totoo, gulong-gulo pa rin ang isip ko. Oo nga’t naliwanagan na ako kahit papano, subalit hindi ko pa rin maaaring sabihing tama ang pananaw ko at iiwanang mali ang kabila. Parehong tama, parehong may puntos. Pero ‘di ko pa rin maikakaila na ako pa rin ang nasasakal sa kadenang ako rin ang may gawa.
Hindi ko alam kung saan lupalop nanggaling ang mga nabasa mo kanina. Pero isa lang ang sinisigurado ko, produkto ito ng nagmumukmok na damdamin ng isang IN DEMAND na tao, isang taong pilit namumuhay ng payak peor pilit din namang sinusundan at hinahabol ng ibang kulay ng mundong ito. Isang extra na piniling maging bida sa larangang alam niyang doon siya Masaya. Isang IN DEMAND na kailanman ay ‘di susukuan ang hamon ng panahon.

Isa lang pruweba ang lahat ng ito na patuloy na nag-eexist ang inyong bida.

We have that something that some species don't understand. 

Wednesday Blues

That little appreciation, really completes my day. :">

This is how my Wednesday is going! Hooray for awesome and loving people!

Morning happiness

The best things in life are free. <3

Happiness is not about what happens to you, but how you chose to respond on what happens to you. That's why it is call happiness not happeness--though it can be called hope-ness. You must always leave room for hope that all has happened for good cause.

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you…” he told them.

“So… pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

A good read. The feeling of being enlightened.

No matter what, I always feel better when I'm talking to you.

I always been complicated

My personal status doesn't have to be changed into "It's Complicated" because I have always been complicated. I can never seem to reconcile what I think to what I feel and thus complicates a lot of things in my life.

My brain always overpowers my emotions and I have the tendency to over-analyze things and forgets that in life, a lot of things doesn't really makes sense---especially when we are talking about the emotions. I can never force myself to submit to what I feel and always end up letting go of things I really really want because logic dictates that if I go the other way, things will never make sense.

In the 20 years that I have been living in this world I had come to realize that life is not really complicated, it is actually our actions that complicates our lives. In my case though, my life is somehow complicated because I am complicated. Does that make sense? I don't think so but I don't care. I told you, I am complicated.

Inside me is a constant battle between logic and emotion. Inside me is an unending debate between my heart and my brain. Which part of me will win in the end remains a mystery. But I will most likely lose myself before any of them could win. I'll probably just end up in some asylum.

Peace on earth.

Idea of Perfection

Here's something that popped in my mind all of a sudden and I want to write it down so I can see if it makes sense or not. This is free-writing---i type as the thoughts come in. You are not required to make sense out of it. But if it does make sense to you, you're welcome and thanks for reading.

The tragedy of life comes from the fact that humanity can never accept that life is not perfect. Every single human being has his own idea of a perfect life and each one wants to achieve it. That in itself is not a problem. We are all entitled to imagine and dream of a beautiful life. Who doesn't want a beautiful, perfect life? The problem is, there are some people among us who will do everything to achieve their ideal life without a thought about how it affects others. There are those who doesn't care if they ruin other people's dreams so they can reach their own.

But if you would think about it, every time you reach your dream, someone loses his. That's how life goes. We cannot all be presidents or superstars or millionaires. Life is a win or lose game and we are all winners and losers. Although I must admit some people are worst off than others and most of us lose more than we win. Still, at some point in our lives, we win. I always believe that life's imperfection makes it perfect. I guess you will never really be able to say that you have lived if you haven't experienced a little bit of everything.

I guess we all do what we do to make our vision of a perfect life real. The choices we make, the groups we join, the jobs we took, all of it to find a way to make our lives perfect. Or at least close to perfect.

Here's the thing, we all have different perceptions of what is perfect. We all strive to make things perfect. That's good. As long as we remember that sometimes our idea of perfection may totally be the opposite of what some people may call perfect. Sometimes, it is not bad to remember our differences. I guess remembering these differences makes us considerate and help us respect other people's idea of perfection and happiness. We cannot force people to see our vision of perfection.

You know what makes the idea of perfection tragic? because it is not real and humans have problems processing the difference between "real world" and "ideal world". You see, the ideal world is a perfect world. Everything you want the world to be: fair, happy, romantic, rich, etc . Real world is imperfect. It is a world made of everyone's idea of a perfect world. It is a world of happiness and sadness, laughter and pain, success and failure.

At some point, something happens and we think we have finally made our lives perfect, then life (being the bitch that she is) slaps us and returns us to reality. Result? We get hurt. But we are humans. It is in our nature to seek for anything that makes us happy. We gravitate to the things that makes us happy. We get attracted to what we think is perfect or close to what we think is perfect. Again and again we do our best to make things as close to perfect as we can. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't.

And my idea of a perfect world? A world were there is tolerance, respect, and equality. A world were nobody is killed because of religion or political beliefs. A world were everyone is accepted regardless of race, social status and choice of gender. A world were everyone has what they need and doesn't have to have sleepless nights to get it. A world were there is no pain, no sadness, no heartaches. More like Narnia minus the White Witch. *sigh* If you would think about it, even Narnia isn't perfect.

In the end, we are all just adventurers in this world.We go out and seek for happiness and perfection. Some returns triumphant. Some fails. Some dies along the way. It's like being in an expedition I guess. One big expedition to make the world perfect. It's a long journey and not all of us will succeed. That is reality.

I do not have tolerance for people who threatens the democracy of my country. A threat to democracy is a threat to freedom. And anybody who threatens my freedom is my enemy.