Turned back

I was thinking the other day of when I was always full of ideas and wanted to action them so bad, yet never did it. When I did remember all the fun I had just thinking of how I would carry it out, how cool would it be if people responded well to those ideas etc. That was then, this is now.

I have changed a lot since then. Instead of holding back, I've been planning, researching and looking forward to ensure that once I set myself on something, I'll do it. So many wonderful ideas were left as just ideas by me not really believing that it was possible. I want to be able to settle down with a family when I'm older, knowing I at least achieved something that I had aspired to do. Only then can I really enlighten and encourage my own kids to do the same.

If I could change one thing, I would have actually bought a book, and written all those ideas down. Because if I couldn't accomplish them then, I could always accomplish them later in life.


So now here I am. I'm trying my best to work hard and make the most of my youth, to ensure that I can sleep soundly at night.

Contradiction

A load of criticism have been bestowed on me, naturally I should take it and learn from those experiences, but at the moment, having so many in the one go, nearly everyday, just goes to show I ain't perfect. Nor do I strive to be. I know I should make effort but its not like this effort is really being appreciated. There are times when I feel like, why should I bother? Whenever someone goes out of their way for me, I make sure that they feel good and that I appreciate what they have done for me. But shouldn't appreciation go two was? What happened to the times when appreciation was a massive part of everyone's lives? Surely people would see that once someone goes out of their way for you, it means they care for you. But seriously... Where is the love these days? We keep asking ourselves that but no one has even bothered trying to answer the damn question. Why ask when you know people can't be bothered answering you? What is the point of having a voice when no one really wants to listen to you? What is the point of having ideas when people laugh at them?

ANGAT SI JUAN

Color me.

My Pencil case. Someone ask me, "bakit ka po may pencil case? Required po ba sa maskom?" HAHA. It made me laugh. Ang kulit. :DD

That awkward moment when you hear something that kills you inside and having to act like you're fine.

in the next few weeks...

... i will be moving in a new environment.

Sometimes we think we know somebody too well then they do something and everything we know about them becomes questionable---integrity is everything. We only have one name--we shoul keep it clean.

They say that when something is taken, something better will take its place. I hope so. I'm still crying in silence. :/

I can forgive. But it will always be hard to forget.

You used to have sense

This is your conscience speaking.

You used to have sense. You used to have good grammar. You used to have writing "skill".
Is this what happens after a year of monotony?

You used to find happiness in the smallest of things.
You used to find light in the darkest of things.
You used to be a fun person.

Is it time to read on Anne Rice again? Her books seem to do wonders to your brain.
Is it time for you to go back to the wilds and search for your self? You seem to be constantly lost.

Your morbid thoughts are in full control again.
Your sunny side is gone obscured by dark,heavy clouds.

Is it just the weather bringing you down?
Is it just the cold freezing your brain?
Is it just stress that makes you post like you've never learned how to spell right?
Is it just boredom that reflects on your writing and makes this blog as boring as it is now?

Or is it really you? Are you as brain dead as I thought you're starting to be?
Whatever happened to all the "writing things" you learned and acquired?
Whatever happened to the light moments and taking things easy?

You're not yourself.
You're not in control of yourself.
You have to wake up and start doing something.
You have to be you again.


And may I remind you?
This is your conscience speaking.
So you'd better listen.

Just like falling inlove..

They say when you're in love,

you can hardly eat.
you can hardly sleep.
you can hardly think of anything else.
you spend for it.
you suffer for it.
you try to be patient.
you do your best to understand.

and that is exactly the same thing I feel with my wisdom tooth.

So therefore...

Falling in love is like a growing wisdom tooth.
painful. uncomfortable. depressing.
but all will be well in the end.
hopefully.